Silence Speaks

Thursdays...

2012-02-02T22:25:00.004+08:00

Have got to be more productive than this...

4 weeks down. Only 9 more to go. Dear GPA: James Morrison ft Jessie J was right, the only way is UP.

Note to self: no more late nights! They're killing you. Bloody stick to your goals!!! Stop wallowing. Stop spacing. Procrastinate less. Read less.

Start.

Am I a noob if I just figure out how to change font size and color? After honestly, 591 entries.

have you ever...

2012-01-31T19:53:00.003+08:00

Wanted/planned on taking a half an hour nap... but woke up nearly two hours later thinking: Alarm, y you no wake me up?! But continuing to laze around on the bed. Bed, y you so comfy?

Too much 9gag.

What a mentally long day tmr. Sociology tut, clinical trials lect, Spanish lesson, 1.5h break and finally time series analysis lect. 0930-1730. Brain, don't zonk out tmr!

daddy to the late night rescue!

2012-01-30T23:25:00.004+08:00

Today has been one (emotional) ordeal over another. An emotional rollercoaster really. Three peaks. I cannot get any more excitement.

First, ousted from instep round 1? What is da world coming to..... and I just paid for my transcript just that/this morning. Like suay or suay. KTH, Uppsala, TUM, UWO!! Any one would have been great. Actually either of the first two would have been awesome but nooooo. Not a single one. Bleh.

Aside from disappointment, and really a tiniest bit of acceptance and a lot of denial and to summarize, a cauldron of mixed feelings, round two here we go. Haven't told any one except two souls. It's like less real if you keep it within, you know, not that it does any actual diminishing of the real factor.

Second, seriously a fucking cockroach in lt3?! As if the instep email hasn't done enough to cause distress. Half the lt was eagerly paying attention to the pest, tracking its filthy possibly germ/bacteria infecting feelers and really who could blame them (us) for the inattention? And best thing of all, my stupid affinity (EEYUCKS) with the cockroach striked again. Thankfully no crawling over my legs this time, but it appeared behind my seat. Like a totally wtf lottery also never so accurate. Anyway thank God or whoever was watching over me, it went away, like literally ascended the steps in the lt. I was grossly, morbidly fascinated with its movements. Partly because I really hate even the 0.0001 probability that it could even possibly move back towards me, so keeping track till it meets its inevitable and totally deserving demise, I wasn't gonna let it out of my sight. The whole cockroach fiasco was hilarity, grossness and lasted for like half an hour until two noble guys decided to end the girls' misery and dealt the heroic death blow to the cockroach.

And daddy to the rescue for the third and (please please!) last ordeal of the day. Daddy got the freaking giant adult lizard out of my room! Sneaky shit sneaked in while I was out replacing my waterbottle and watching its every sneaky movement. If I were even the slightest bit inclined in science, I swear I would be studying and coming up with a patented method to effectively destroy cockroaches and possibly lizards.

Adios. Hasta la vista. Need to end this procrastination block. Boo!

If I said I want your body now...

2012-01-24T20:43:00.003+08:00

Would you hold it against me?

This cny feels too short. Even though this year was unlike it's precedents; didn't cut my hair, didnt really get out to get new (new) clothes, didn't do so many other cny-synonymous stuffs but then again it did feel like as always. The rowdy cheery joyous atmosphere, gambling, shouting, drinking, good food and all that with good company which I wouldn't change for anything in the world. At this moment, life rocks. A pity there's school tmr. Aiyoo spoiler.

On the same note, it's the third week of school! Like already. So un-frigging-believable. And I'm still slacking like no one's business. Time to pick up the slack, self.

This sem, everything will be achieved. No pain no gain.

so this is what

2012-01-21T01:21:00.002+08:00

smartphone withdrawal feels like.

Even though I pretty much still have internet access through my lappie, I never realize how attached I was to my 24/7 access to the world. Like that smart saying goes, how can anyone miss something they never had? Truer words have never been spoken. Feel kinda lost and pissed. Because I was in the middle of a good eboook! Now I can't get back to it! Because its in my memory card which I can't connect to my lappie!!!!!

Dumb moto miletstone 2 picked today of all days to hang, and threw its tantrum. Not that there was any good day for it to do what it did. Hang and restart hang and restart and the cycle continued for at least a dozen times. Because the owner kept being hopeful about its condition.

Sent it for repair and that took away my scheduled aftn nap for today. Boo. A tired wanting is someone you don't want to mess with. Anyway sobs much because all my data are gonna be gone. Tskkk toook so much time to download them all. But might as well do away with the 3xangry birds and 3xhungrysharks. What? They were all free on andriod market! Only 61 more apps to go. (Alchemy, 9999 camera apps, Kobo, Wordsearch, hwf, wwf, Millionaire, hangman, checkers, 4 in a row, colornote, tasklist, BBC, the economist ..........................)

This year, doesn't feel like any other year. At all. It's like all good and bad at the same time. Weird.

a world of pain

2012-01-14T23:57:00.005+08:00

All self attributed. This is what happpens when one abstains from exercizing on a regular basis for abt six months (or longer more like). 3h of badminton on Friday and my dear body is aching like nobody's business. Calfs, thighs, ass, back, neck, shoulder blades, arms, elbows, and palms. No idea why my ass is aching but prolly due to incessant or excessive or even errogenous footwork. Badminton, chim stuff.

Is it sad that I'm looking forward to a full 9h of (hopefully) uninterrupted sleep tonight? Week 1 was exhausting. The only good that came out of those early mornings was my body clock is on its way to a healthier gmt. Naps rock. Haha

Peace out, yo.

Home is where the comfy bed is

2012-01-10T18:38:00.002+08:00

The second day of school, and I've already fallen prey to the inability to stay awake. And succumbed to a nap. Which in my defense was severly overdued. After a whole month of late nights and waking up at noons, I'm surprised I even managed to wake up at 645 today to crash a 945 sociology101 lecture after sleeping at 1plus the same night.

Aiyo how to survive the week much less the semester?

Yawning; my constant (silent) company.

Decisions to make by end of this week:
Course load - currently 20aus (3xmath, spanish, socio, badminton)
INSTEP - where

Mm I seem to be forgetting something here.

boy, you got my heartbeat running away

2012-01-09T11:32:00.005+08:00

On the verge (or cliff, really) of an eggciting journey. It's growing up. Waking up one day and realize hey going to school isn't going to be the same ever again. Wanting more from your life, and your friends. Not knowing where Life would take you. Having dreams but no real means of fulfilling them. Not yet anyway but it'll happen. Today, I feel like 21.

Change is happening. Embrace it. Or not.

Like they said, a thousand mile journey begins with a single (baby) step. Or at least I like this phrasing better since I would be like (at least) hundreds of miles away sometime, seven months later. Epiphanies are good for the soul. Next thing you know, I would have inked carpe diem on my forearm. Not quite ready to take that plunge yet.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try
To fix you.

2012

2012-01-07T00:04:00.002+08:00

Six days later. Hahahaha

Broke in the new year with sissy and several bottles of alcoholic indulgences; - Brown Brothers moscato, Bulmers, Asahii & ican'trmbwhat - Lays chips, MTV running, channels-switching, rewatching Ironman 2 on HBO and having a ball of a time or at least till we passed out. In exhaustion or just plain drunk. I think I was sober but dog-tired.

Broke in the new year with Dreams & Reality exhibit at National Museum! Finally! A first person view on Van Gogh, and Monet paintings. My inner artisan soul was writhing in ecstasy. And really, it was a fantastic time despite that I was on a tight schedule. Museums are always fun. And they shipped in paintings, drawings and photography from the Musee d'Orsay, Paris. (Happy) sighs.

Broke in the new year with the first r21 film with N. HAHA truthfully speaking, not much of a leap from the m18 shows, but more sexual violence which eeek. The girl with a dragon tattoo is not bad. Exciting (psychological?) thriller that went in circles finding the missing girl which turned out to be someone obvious and the killer who was again someone obvious. Not sure why she was called the girl with the dragon tattoo or why she even has the dragon tattoo and even why she was not qualified as a mentally competent individual when she works as a professional hacker.

Broke in the new year, shit is it only three days to sem2??!

HAHA

Dear Me (five years in the future)

2011-12-26T17:33:00.006+08:00

Blogging today in post-xmas; it's not something new to me, the feeling that something is amiss, or the festive seasons themselves getting more stale. I'm not sure which. Or whether it's part of growing up and growing old. Almost everything seems to fall back on a routine, a pattern if you may. Patterns and routines are good, familiar. I don't know when it happened but it did.

Every year, I can't help but feel something is ... missing, lack of better word. It's not lacking but missing, you know. Maybe it's the result of too many Hollywood influences; too many drama series and movies with their happy endings and perfect white christmas. Not forgetting the gazillion fiction books that I frequently indulge in. It's not that I'm not happy, it's that I just feel somewhat detached, apart, separate from the crowd.

I want a xmas or cold wintry day spent by the fireplace, fire blazing woods burning exuding warmth. Making snow angels in the white (duh) pristine snow, drinking hot cocoa, having someone preferably The One to cuddle with and maybe a Lab Retriever lying down on my feet (if at that time I feel like responsibility).

Dear me in the future, would you look back upon this moment, and smile in secret bliss or sigh in regret? Or worse, become cynical and jaded no longer believing in happy endings?

Light up light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear.

slightly antic

2011-12-22T01:41:00.003+08:00

Anticipative & anticlimatic at the same time.

All that dreading and hoping and stomach cramping and trying not to think, mostly was for naught. I can't believe after 5 sems of this thang and I still get trapped in the rabbit hole. Seriously though, every semester feels like a new one, except after the very first sem, you get used to the residual guilt accumulated from previous sems. And I for one, am the type to forget almost everything in the past semester. So every semester literally means a new semester.

One more week to actual revealing of examination grades. But thankfully, cgpa gave me something to look forward to.

Soooo not looking forward to 9th. Say hello (dreadfully) to 4xmorning (inclusive of one 0830) classes and goodbye to pretty much a keep calm and stay cool time.

to hell and back

2011-12-10T04:29:00.003+08:00

Shit. This sums up my entire week. Late nights or shall I say early mornings, and even later mornings which are actually midafternoons at best? Look at what time I'm blogging jeez.

Didn't even get around to getting a winter job when Classifieds keep mysteriously disappear. And I barely step out of my room much less the house unless you count getting meals. Buttt I did finished like at least five movies, caught up to three of my fave drama (Chuck, lost girl & vamp diaries) while finishing a new drama, Suits within a span of a single day and finishing a dozen of ebooks and real books.

Where did the time gooo? Goodness I feel like I'm wasting my youth. Crap what am I saying? I am wasting my youth.

Feel so exhausted mentally and physically out of a sudden. This must be the being-21-epiphany W talked about the other time. Oh nooo.

i think i'm...

2011-12-06T11:15:00.002+08:00

Insomniac.

Spent a lot of time tossing and turning last night. Maybe it was due to the pressure of not waking up in time for STARS. Only God knows why. Have been having late nights waking up to late mornings, really I meant afternoons. No reason for not sleeping early and at the same time no reason for waking up early hence the screwed up body clock.

STARS was heart stomping and heart wrecking as usual. Ended up making a last minute decision to swap all my indexes to drop one core and add another. Added four electives, I know kiasu much. And I'm thinking of dropping one UE that I'm quite keen on in favor of Spanish because I want my exams to end earlier and hopefully join my parents on that 2 week Europe. Sighs

Why can't the world go round on my clock?

postexams

2011-12-05T02:44:00.002+08:00

Downer. Only the third day, and I've already succumbed to watching teevee. Nothing wrong with the traditional broadcast media I suppose, but to stay at home after all the grand plans I thought I had made... at this moment I'm like whattt grand plans.

Oh well. At least I had some qualityy time with my sissy who was on leave. We practically played this game every night, see who gets to wake up first in the morning. Which I think we were on par overall. Sleeping at 2ish 3 every night and waking up after 12 and having two meals a day.

There has gotta be more to life than this.

50/50

2011-12-02T02:09:00.002+08:00

Ended the 4-month movie fast on the last day of exams with a bang.

If the odds of survival for undergoing an operation to remove a cancerous lump is 50%, would you take the leap? I like the analogy that Karl used, if you were at the casino man, this would be terrific odds. It just resonated with me for a number of reasons, a) gambling process in stochastic processes hahahaha b) the way of looking/perceiving odds is actually rather contextual-based. At the end of the day, it depends on how one looks at it, and not whether if you're the gambling sort of person.

Anyway the movie was loosely based on real life, and knowing it could happen to anybody is really not surprising I would say but more of like a wake-up call. I can die, you can die, everyone dies. The difference is how and when.

And I can't believe my tutee fired me through sms. I mean hello? Where's the basic decency? I hope she fails her exams. Sheesh. I know I know kinda vindicative of me, but a scorpio holds grudges okay. But seriously sheesh. It certainly puts a damper and a dent on my (exchange $$) plans.

Last night was horrible. A 9am morning paper (today), for the last paper no less, means I had to wake up at 6am. My earliest class this semester was 1030! In preparation for you know possible obstacles to hinder my usually efficient transportation schedule, the alarm was set at 545. Laid down on the bed around 12ish, and I'm pretty sure I didn't get to lalaland till an hour later min. Which gave me a total of abt 4ish hours of sleep. Wanted to set myself a challenge to "beat the sunrise, sleep can wake", no really, just survive 24h without sleep to see if I can, but I can't. Already my eyes are close to turning the lights off and the brain is only half-funnctioning at best.

Good night, world. Finally, no waking up to alarms!!

why does it feel like its over

2011-11-25T13:21:00.002+08:00

When I'm only midway done with exams? Pffftt

Kinda worried for survival analysis please please if there is a God, give me a sign (hit me baby one more time!). Advertising was (Y). I have the feeling she'll be quite lenient. Still...

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on the wall for the world to see
Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what used to be

Is it me or does everyone else find that there are so many more interesting stuffs to do when one is supposed to be studying? Mmmm

one down four to go

2011-11-23T23:14:00.003+08:00

Got my ass kicked instead. Lied like no one's business. Cooked up a relationship with Jack. Crapped like there was no tomorrow. Still I felt I memorized wayyy more than was needed. Why is this year's essay section so difficultttt. ):

Dear God,

Will my brains blow if I study too much?

Yours truly,
Worried undergrad.

Sleep is for the weak. Continues chanting in my head until internalized.

tttka!

2011-11-22T13:41:00.003+08:00

(Time to totally kick ass)

Things to do: (after 316)
- movie frenzy
- drama catchup marathon
- gym
- spam resumes for internship
- read
- plan timetable
- play
- spend some quality time with semipro - revisit kwm
- swim/tan
- work?
- volunteer?
- chilllllllll

All these planning has got me eggcitedd!!

habitual creature

2011-11-20T14:29:00.003+08:00

I don't think I like being predictable.

But my days are falling into an annoying cycle of boring routines. Wake up at 930, snooze till 10 or 1030, slack till breakfast; start doing work at noon. Sometimes I take long procrastinating breaks in between which I feel terribly guilty after taking them but oh wells what done is done. Like what the math guy said, time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time. Or smth along that line anyway.

Two more weeks. Really. Not much to ask for. Things are only gonna get more hectic as Wednesday draws nearer.

Oh bother. Whining makes everything feel more trifle. Time to devote my energy on more crucial stuffs.

waiting for the other shoe to drop

2011-11-19T00:02:00.004+08:00

Frankly, this does not fucking feel like study break at hall. Shit.

I did more productive things during a weekend that I did this entire week. The guilt and remorse is killing me softly. Finished about five or ten ebooks on kobo since last friday till now. And I even had time for one or three episodes of VD. I know everytime I'm like wtf have so much time to read books but I still keep doing it. It's like you know what you gotta do, but when you actually start living it, it's just different. Words are dirt cheap.

I should forget about inking the infinity symbol and do the last line instead.

I tell myself something along the same lines every semester since the very first one and every time I'm in a new semester, I never remember the promises I made. How the hell do people stick with resolutions? Me, weak-willed have no defense against temptation. Zilch. Nada. Zero. I fall faster than Eve with her apple.

Just kill me (metaphorically.)

Story of my life: (Noooooooooo)

Oh wells. I hope Kelly Clarkson's right;

You think you've got the best of me
Think you've got the last laugh
Bet you think everything that is good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me
Cos you're dead wrong
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over once you're gone.

five things abt myself

2011-11-14T18:35:00.004+08:00

that I didn't realize until yesterday.

1. When life gives you lemons, you have no choice but to make lemonades. Weather was extremely unforgiving yesterday but almost everyone managed to turn up graciously despite the dampening weather even though some had to cab in.

2. I can't take photos for nuts without my spects. My eyes cannot seem to focus at the right place (camera lens) in all the photos and polaroids. Tskk

3. Eyeliner is not my friend. Being pretty is a whole lot of work.

4. Family's da best. They don't ask, they give. <3

5. You are who your friends are. I'm a terrific person myself, hence by logical association my friends are terrific people toooo! Seriously, I have the bestest friends.

(6. Time to lose that five pounds.)

birthday high

2011-11-14T18:23:00.001+08:00

Had the bestest time yesterday.

almost there

2011-11-12T22:03:00.005+08:00

wrt party preparation. Lol

I hope everything turns out okay. Food, music, people, weather. Crossing my fingers.

Totally don't feel like a studying. ): Note to self: Need to effing pull the GPA up. MUGSTRONG: pain is temporary, gpa is forever.

Pretty stills from Katy Perry's The One That Got Away

Can't wait for exams to be over!

All the money can't buy me a time machine
Nooooo
Can't replace you with a million rings
Noooo
I should've told you what you mean to me
Whoaaa
Cause now I pay the price
In another life,
I would be your girl
We keep all our promises
Be us against the world

Crazy sem

2011-10-29T03:04:00.002+08:00

Seriously. I think there's a conspiracy out there to kill us with deadlines.

2 weeks to my birthday! 1 more week after that to finalsss. 2 weeks after that that to YAY!

I'm so lag I duno where to pick myself up. Zzzzzzzzzzz

Now to make it come true

2011-10-28T00:29:00.001+08:00

I kissed a football player because I was high. Now that..... Hahahahha

OMGawd see what stress is doing to me....

Now we can pretend

2011-10-25T11:50:00.003+08:00

Seven days has gone so fast,
I really thought the pain would last.
It's been nearly an hour since
I thought of you.

If running away and hide was an option, I would have disappeared. Everything's kinda piling up and there are simply times where you said ah forget it. If life is a rat race and you're winning, you're still a rat.

Mantra for the week: If you really want to do something, you'll (fucking) find a way. If you don't you'll find an excuse.

WTF

2011-10-12T01:01:00.003+08:00

No seriously, it's wednesday, thursday and friday again. I think the teachers @ SPMS are trying to kill us. How in the world are we going to find time to start revision if the assignments and projects workload keep coming?! Tskk

I need a break from a break from guilt.

We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hands
But you played me,
You played me to the beat.

Mundane Monday

2011-10-10T09:46:00.003+08:00

Lack of sleep makes wanting a dull girl. Like a seriously. Brought an extra file along when I already packed what I needed into my bag. Plus the downpour. Sighs

The weekend was pretty much a bust. Got fixated on this 80days itouch app for the whole of Sunday. And knowing I have a midterm on Tuesday, that is really saying a lot. Need to get a gawddamn focus pill and get the head in the game. And again, that's knowing I still have four books to finish reading before I can get to the plan.

What's wrong with this sem? What's wrong with me??

One more frigging month to my 21st birthday and then exams. Haha

So right it went wrong

2011-10-06T21:20:00.005+08:00

This spells out the entire week in honest.

Today was gloom, gloom and gloom. Triple literally. First was the midterm that we got back. Fully expected to pass. And I did. Barely. But I had a feeling. After seeing many >70ish it doesn't take a genius to figure out how I felt. Second was the part where I was told there was nothing for me to do short of offing my 3g network, to lengthen my batt life. Oh why Moto, why! I charge it twice on a daily basis. Like !#$%= Then after making it down to the moto service centre which was conveniently at the cathay, which meant on the way home, I thought of dropping by chapter 2 for a much needed haircut. Just as I was about done with my moto business, it started pouring. Passed by the new cathay gallery and spent a good half an hour there. It was like a mini museum that brings you back in history. The illustrious Loke family history.

I knew I had few options. Really. a) movie. It's not like I haven't caught one by myself. And I really wanted to watch Real Steel. b) starbucks. Didn't wanna feel like a loser sitting by myself with almost nothing to do. The difference with catching a movie and chilling at starbucks is obviously, the former takes place in the dark. Hence less naked if you know what I mean. c) call pickup service aka mom. She refused. d) buy an umbrella.

No prize for getting the answer right. Stinking 7-11 umbrella costs 6bucks. Zzz

Third gloomz has to be the bloody long wait. First the guy told me to come back in half an hour. I didn't want to appear too eager, I went back after 40min. Waiting ten before someone attended to me, which was typical waiting time, I think. Then another guy washed by hair. I finished reading (in depth) half of 2011 May's (I forgot which mag) and reckon by my estimation waited at least another thirty before another guy came over to cut my hair. He apologised of course, which conscious service oriented crew wouldn't? And on the front I was like, np. But inside I was blowing the short fuse. Sorry is just that. A word. It doesn't mean much. Anyone can say sorry. Sheesh. Why ruin other people's day right?

Anyway, he made me wait so long I wasn't willing and frankly didn't want to tell him that I was heading straight home to dinner and sleep right after. Afterall I paid for wash cut and style.

Conquering the world

2011-10-05T18:39:00.005+08:00

With 3g service, google map and a spare battery, anything is possible.

Went all the way to bukit timah shopping centre (yt's recommendation) to get Cheryl's psych tb photocopied because I found it abit dear to return the tb that I mugged hard for to its owner. Relied on chuyan's directions and the power of google map to arrive safely at btsc. Inside, it was a bit rural, rustic, first time being there and all, I had a creepy feeling of being watched. And I was. By the domestic helpers who were lined up sitted in various and countless maid agencies which all boasted to be the best. I went to the 4th storey chop chop-wise and did what I set out to in record time. A small blemish to my plans though. One day delay. But I guess that can't be helped. All in all, it was a great day.

328 midterm was doable mostly. And thank God for small favors. 316 on Monday wasn't too bad as well, but bell curve wise, oh mannn.

Grrrr. I'm hungryyy.

we're so close to the edge of

2011-09-23T00:39:00.003+08:00

disaster.

That sums up the 20% midterm today. WLE! Zzzzz the thing was I don't even need hindsight to know I should have started earlier and all that crap about spilled milk. I can barely remember how the week started as it is. My memory bank is full of blank spots. All I remember is the mad rushing all week.

But finally, recess week is here! Lots to catch up on and mug for midtermsx2.

I need a better bed routine. Lack of sleep is seriously messing my mojo. Today was like the second time in the semester, and ever in my whole life really, that I dropped something and jerked awake from sleep on the train. I never used to sleep on trains. But like they said, never say never right.

Operation MAW: Mug All Week begins tomorrow!

Sometimes, a diagram says it better.

2011-09-14T01:39:00.002+08:00

And this is clearly one of those times.

Been there done them all. Suckerss.

a good ole dose of S

2011-09-12T21:52:00.006+08:00

Either that or I need a doctor (call me a doctor I need a doctor doctor to bring me back to lifeeeee.....)

Presenting......... (drum rollss)

Sarcasm week. Nuff said. Let the piggtures do da talkingg.

I'm spiralling down in the warped tunnel of darkness.

Just a kiss on the lips in the moonlight
Just a spark of the fire burning so bright
I don't wanna mess this thing up
I don't wanna push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
Baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight.

The wake of 9/11

2011-09-10T22:31:00.004+08:00

Sad isn't it? No pun, no sarcasm. How time and tide really waits for no man. 10 years just like that. And it still feels like yesterday for some.

Was listening in to Nick Cannon's program on 913 and they had this segment on remembering those who passed. Beyonce showed her support by remaking a song about being proud about being American. Patriotism at its best. A pity, it took a tragedy, so large a scale to pull the country together.

And there was this recording dedication from a little girl, starting from a year after Sept 9 2001 missing her daddy and having his favorite meal yesterday and even finishing the carrots even though she didn't like them and her mommy told her, "Daddy's safe now.", then a five year gap where she was in middle school and she hopes her daddy can see from from the field where she plays soccer and that her mommy lets her wear his shirt to bed and the shirt still smells like him, and then a ten year, where she still hopes her daddy sees her from where he is while asking whether going into medical school to be a doctor will be the right choice and knows he will be there to walk her down the aisle.

How can you, in fact anyone, not... cry? And they were playing this melancholy music in the background.

This just sums it all

2011-09-10T02:37:00.004+08:00

Tumblr, you have the words for everything.

Every time I see your face
My heart takes off on a high speed chase
Don't look down
It's only love
Baby that we're falling in.

How can it be the end of week 5 already?!>>?!?!?!

My bedtime is screwed. Up. Again. Sleep deprivation is driving me crazyyy (insert Britney.)

Magical weekend (not)

2011-09-03T19:49:00.003+08:00

Spending the weekend to catch up on my catching-up. How great is that?

Sighssss

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you've gotta be
Everything's changing
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

When I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting
With your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
from myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself.

Beating the odds

2011-08-31T11:44:00.004+08:00

More like being owned by the odds, in more than one unfortunate event. Damn.

First was the lousy long weekend that went to procrastination. Really how I did it, I'm not sure myself. Striked off like only a meager one off my list of eight items. It's like there's always so much (fun) things to do when you're supposed to be studying. And the opposite is always true, when you don't have to study, there never seem to be anything to do.

Moral of the story, need to source for new motivation or a new planner.

Next on the list. Tried to be a smartass today and allowed my perfectionist self to take a long deserved break before it snaps. Turns out, giving leave to spurs of the moments are not really my thing. Kinda depressing though. Spontaneity nada. Anyway, if planning things out in microscopic detail means saving time then why not right? Ended up losing my key which I retrieved ultimately.

Kth, oh Kth. Formally withdrew from Kth Royal Institute of Technology today. Kinda with a heavy heart. Sighs. If onlys.

...

I don't wanna be lonely no more

2011-08-26T23:54:00.007+08:00

Kth, oh Kth.

First I tried to be an smartass and apply for instep even though I had no plans (not really) of actually going through with it. At least not this semester. Then next thing I know, I got in. Now I feel like an asshole. Kth Royal Institute of Technology at that. Asshole. Period. I am a master at guilting myself.

Withdrawing would mean nothing much (lie), and yet not withdrawing seems neither here nor there (truth). Why did I give in to that tempting urge/desire/yearning that time? Now guilt is here to stay no matter what I choose.

Fuck. Where is Destiny when you need her? No time like the present to actually want to know how your life pans out. Not the entire life per se, that would take the thrill out of living but would a glimpse, a peek hurt? Come and see me in my dreams tonight...

On the other hand, I wanna go so badly that I might be even pondering a... :O Dare I say it aloud?! A 4 year instead of a 3.5. Sighs... Weak will.

Mugging date with the books this long weekend. Hope it turns out productive. Most of the time. See I'm a realistic person. And I'm going to make it even better, I'm limiting myself to 2h max of social stuffs. On offical hiatus after this blog post, bitches.

Is just another heartache on my list.

Goal for this semester: Pull the effing GPA to an effing 2nd uppers damn. Smoke it, bitches.

Humble confessions

2011-08-21T22:42:00.002+08:00

Is it terrible of me to half hope that it'll rain tomorrow so history can repeat itself?

I'm here without you, baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you, baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you, baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you & me.

Ownedz by the weekend

2011-08-21T21:12:00.006+08:00

Did surprisingly less productive work even when I pretty much dedicated my weekend to playing catch up. Took too many breaks of course, but what else can you do when you can't concentrate right? Staring at the notes/books sure ain't gonna cut it.

Week 3 is gonna be another breeze.

Not.

I wanna (pack) up and go. Take a trip somewhere. Somewhere only we know. Watch the day past us by. Lying on the green grass, watching the clouds. Falling asleep, knowing. Knowing...

And it goes like this...

2011-08-18T00:00:00.002+08:00

Lost track of how many times I used this song.

Anyhoos. Here I am. Blogging midweek. I have so many things to do say for example, copy notes for 316. But I'm not. Instead I'm blogging. Stating the obvious, but it makes me feel better.

Bad weather ought to be a reasonable excuse not to come to school. Thank goodness they don't take attendance in universities. Took the chance to dye my hair, which for some reason, my hair still smell like the hairdye product. :/

CS8100 was unexpectedly... Cool. And I've decided to stick with two CS electives for this semester on top of my three cores. Speaking of which, I need to buy textbooks for both. Juggle 18 AUs with two tuition assignments and a possible ECA. Time will tell. Hopefully. Something good.

ECA? Sighs

Exchange?? Sighs

Internship!! Sighs

Only. The. Second. Week.

Only. Wednesday. Or. Thursday. If. You. Are. Anal. About. It.

I will survive!

Take me by the tongue
And I'll know you
Kiss me till you're drunk
And I'll show you
You want the moves like jagger
I've got the moves like jagger
I've got the moooooooveeeessss like jagger

3 2 1 and action

2011-08-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

When do you take action? Step out of your own comfort zone. When do you speak? When do you lend a helping hand? What do you learn from enforced cme lessons? How do one even teach civics & moral education? The whole thing is such a debacle that it kinda makes no sense to trace its origins.

when you see a blind man walking around aimlessly at the train platform.
when you see a cockroach almost being squashed by the person seated next to you on the train, while thinking thank God it's not me and secretly thinking eew wtf it went pass me?!?!?!?
when you see a kid being hit and slapped by (someone I assumed to be) her mom repeatedly and crying because it hurts and that her cheeks and her arms are bruised

When do you help? When do you take that step? When do you become a hero among the crowd?

Concrete jungles where dreams are made of

2011-08-15T11:32:00.005+08:00

First day of second week of school. Woke up at 730 and did the normal routine of getting ready for school. Just when I was about to leave the house, what do you know. Heavy downpour. Like an intense session of cats and dogs. Sheets of rain literally pouring down. No way am I going to make it of my house dry. So I decided on a self study at home. Seriously no contest. Wasn't going to make it for survival on time, and then followed by a 3h break (like total waste-time) and then a 2h of regression. Which I would at most listen to half that time. So like I said, no contest.

Okay so technically I haven't start. But I have a lot of admin things to do. Like sign up for recruitment talks (check), put a ear out for potential ccas, start researching on attachment progs, play catchup with week1, research for instep (check), sign up for instep (check check), talk to MAS coordinator for instep. Mostly done so yay!

Called OHP for hairdye/treatment appointment and bloody hell get someone who can speak on the phone for reception duties next time please. Got pissed so early in the morning. Totally ruined my everloving mood.

Like a overachiever sometimes. I wanna go for work&travel, exchange, have an awesome gpa, a good internship and graduate in 3.5.

There's nothing you can't do
Now you're in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Let's hear it for New York (NY, NY)

Running on low

2011-08-11T22:57:00.003+08:00

4h of sleep.

It's a new record!

School was sucky. Woke up at 0730 and managed a pretty much conscious weighing of pros and cons of going to school for 2x1h lect. Dragged my lazy ass off the bed at 0800. Hurried to school. Found seats thankfully. Dozed for abit while thinking why I decided what I did. First lect went passed in a blur. Caught like 70% which was pretty good, given A) can't recall a single shit in the last sem B) for a morning lect when running esp on 4h. 3h break ensued. Wasted an hour refreshing STARS.

Totally forgot about the internship/fyp/exchange talk. Dinner and movie with N. Home.

Lotsa things to do. Ciaos.

Back to sticking with the plan.

And that's just how we roll

2011-08-10T01:11:00.003+08:00

Note to self: no hanky panky this sem

*Mark up potential life changing calendar events;
*Internship thingy;
*GET ONE MORE BLOODY ELECTIVE (AT LEAST)!!!!!

Procrastination be gone!

And I swear
Wherever we go from here
We'll be one till the sky falls down

So watch and learn

2011-08-09T21:55:00.002+08:00

Busy like a bumblebee.

How is it possible that I spent the entire National Day running about and not having accomplish much? God. And I had such big plans. Second day (but technically still the first day of school), I feel swamped already. This week is packed with heat manz.

To do:
Generally, two things: need (plus urge thanks to a highly motivated start) to catch up on schoolwork (already) because sadly even though I attended both lectures dutifully, all I heard most of the time was blahblahblah. Grab one or two more elective(s), hopefully still leaving a four day week!!!
- Would be out the entire day. Tmr.
- Need to ring up Achieve Consulting. Tmr.
- Conduct some highly secretive stuffs. Tmr.
- After school movie & dinner on thursday.
- Tuition on friday
- Tuition on saturday
- Birthday party on saturday after tuition. Which reminds me, need to go get present.

Oh man................ No me-time!

I'm not going to show you twice
Head to toe
Oooh baby rub me right
If I share my secret
You're gonna have to keep it
Nobody else can see this
And it goes like this

Changing the world....

2011-08-07T12:40:00.002+08:00

By investing in the economy through retail investment.

Really. Need a new bag, new sneakers, new haircut. Why can't school start on a thursday like NUS? Okay enough lamenting about tmr. Why didn't I get my electives?!!? Now I have to camp again while chanting 4 day week 4 day week 4 day week.

Despite these, things look pretty good to me right now.

Until tomorrow then...

Gary, Matthew & Jeremy

2011-07-29T02:14:00.004+08:00

I could get used to meeting nice guys everyday. Wait. That came out wrong. It made me sound so despo which I’m not. Not yet. At least. I hope?

The world is in a conspiracy of conspiracies. Shh. Top classified stuffs. I could tell you but then I would have to kill you…

I Greyson Chance-d someone just now. Didn’t feel as good doing it as saying it. I could almost hear friends, acquaintances doing an inside huh in their mind: what’s a Greyson Chance now? And I would say, it all started with Wendi Deng. Hahahahah inside joke. So inside I myself might not get it when I reread this post.

Anyway it’s so sad sometimes when you know certain stuffs have their deadlines, their expiry dates, and then the more you cherish them. Kinda too late but is it really? It takes more than guts, more than courage and more than bravery, admittingly they are all synonyms of each other; but for me – guts is something that spurs action, it’s instinctive, it comes with experience; courage is a leap of faith; bravery is doing something you know it’s for the greater good. Okay I have no idea where all these voodoo words just came from. At least the late night supper is doing something productive like creating synapses in my brain rather than going straight to my hips and thighs. Like they say, or rather Shakira sang: hips don’t lie…

Going back. Shit, I digress easily. Talking circles around myself: skill level up. Anyway, it takes more than those three things to put words into actions. Better than never. Really. Not that the stuffs I was referring to subtly had any expiry date or whatsoever, but the point is, looking back with fond memories thinking, man, I miss those days would be better than having no such memories in the first place. If you don’t have it, you can’t possibly miss it right? Wrong.

Back to my three hawt teen wolf beefcakes.

Meet Scott McCall, Derek Hales & Jackson Whittemore. Can you do whee-o-wheet wolf whistles or what.

lazy weekend

2011-07-24T23:04:00.003+08:00

Chilled at home for the entire weekend. Gotta admit it's dang good to sleep in and greet the sun based on your whims. It's been awhile.

How do people read on their beds? I swear when I get into a good comfy position I feel like giving in to the inevitable and doze off which kinda detracks from my original intent. And they make it look so good on screen. Tsk

\m/

2011-07-21T16:01:00.002+08:00

It's thursday! (Lip syching it's thursday thursday in Rebecca Black's Friday.)

Would you hold it against me?

2011-07-20T17:04:00.002+08:00

Last two days at work! The excitement is almost palpable. Gonna miss xoxo-ing with J and C during lunch. Not the part where we decide where to eat though. That I would never miss. Too much hassle. Bugis, you bore me.

If I say I want your body now

Slave/screw-driver

2011-07-19T19:08:00.003+08:00

I know what a screw (clean literal not the dirty interpretation) feels like now...

1912 and I'm still at work..... It's a good thing I decided to quit while I'm ahead, namely this friday. When one of the perm staff jokingly mentioned that I should apply to be a full perm staff, I had shivers of horrors which I'm pretty sure it showed blatantly on my face. And it did not help that I answered without much thinking/censoring with an emphatic NOooooo.

Dear Friday,

You simply cannot come fast enough.

Tgiff (Thank God it's friday, finally) man. \m/

feeling balmy

2011-07-16T09:38:00.002+08:00

Weather - slightly overcast. Not much Z's the night before but feeling rather refreshed. Chill's the flavor du jour.

Little bro went out shufflingg till 3+am last night. And that was his 18th. I would place bets on him not coming home on his 21st. Sounds like a jealous sista. Which I gotta admit I kinda am. He has it easy. Way to easy. Academic wise, he always had me. Even when I'm reluctant, I don't like people that are linked to me to suffer you know. Like his annoying pw last year. My protective instincts are a mile wide. I think he knows he always has me and that's a good and bad thing. It's nice to know you're dependable but hello who likes to be on service 24/7?! I am no Fedex, moi don't live to serve. I think it's the youngest sibling and the middle child syndromes. Sighs. It's a long standing joke between me and my bruh that my only reason for existence is the cater to their whims. Anyway back to wherever we left off. The social life part, it's all him. It's times like this that I often feel like the black sheep of the family. Not necessarily out of the loop and all but just out, you know. But I have my life and goals and they have theirs.

Anywayyy. Big plans for my post-work! 3 days for photog! One for the scenery/achitecture/whatever nature's got to offer, the night lights, and the skies. Any takers??

And the mighty fell

2011-07-15T22:51:00.003+08:00

Math major stumped by a triangle question. WLE! Triangles are forever my Achilles heel. I swear. That and bearings. Haven't quite figure that last sucker out yet. But shhhh.

I want to go swimming, shopping, sleep.

13 day WORK marathon. I like to think I'm going on strong, but the truth is... I don't know how much more I can take even though I manage to squeeze in some bit of online shopping. Browsing only of course. But the devil needs only temptation to lure even the most the pious away from his righteous path. Fuck I can't do another 12 day straight. I need my Z's more than I want kaching.

We fight for Freedom

2011-07-15T16:40:00.003+08:00

One week and a bit more to go!!!!!!!!!!!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ counting down! When the going gets tough, the tough waits for money to be cashed in then goes shopping!

I want to learn to gyrate like Pixie Lott!

Hell of a workout. Plus I think she definitely got inspired by Lady Gaga. Upz.

Of blue skies and grey clouds

2011-07-14T22:36:00.007+08:00

The rabbit is supposed to move!! Doze off actually. Literally doze off. It reminds me too much of well, me and too cute not to share!

It's amazing how I can get ready when I'm in a jiffy, especially when I woke up late, like half an hour later than usual and still manage to get out of the house ten minutes before usual. The thing was, I woke up at 0730 to pee then went back to sleep. Alarm was all set to ring at 0740, ten precious minutes so it was no contest. Happily back to sleep I went. I woke at up 0740, offed my alarm thinking I'll shut my eyes for a while more before dragging myself out, and snuggled in. The next thing I knew, mom came in at 0820 and was like, omg why are you still sleeping? Even half awake I was a smartass, I asked what time it was. She told me and I couldn't believe, so I verified for myself. Opening one dreary eye, and immediately alarms rang in my head, ohshitohshitohshit. I know right, too pro for words.

Subconsciously, I might have been leaning towards not waking up at all. Waking up at 0730 for eleven days (is it only 11?!) in a row, get bugged by brother at night, the whole sleep deprivation thing plus error-spotting work makes wanting a dull girl.

On the way back, witnessed a rather sad incident unfolding. I'm pretty sure it's not the first occurence nor would it be the last. It's just so sad. A woman in her elderly years, in her somewhat fifties or sixties, she was searching through the rubbish can for recyclables at the bugis station bus stop. A guy walks past wanting to throw in his redbull can and the woman got it from him instead. She shook out the remnants and tucked the precious can into her bundle, already filled rather packed-ly. She had two of those. Afterwards, she continued to ransack the bin for more. I couldn't bear to watch the entire process. But when she found what she wanted, she wiped her hands clean on her towel thrown over her shoulder, and with a satisfied grin, picked up her heavy bundles and left. It's just so heartwrenching. The only thing I could think of as I watch the entire process unfold was, charity begins at home. I was rather ashamed of myself, to be just another onlooker. Watching instead of taking action. This was one of those times when it just takes one person to do the right thing, and others would follow in lead. There's just so many things wrong that I don't know where to start.

You make me feel soooooo

2011-07-13T10:34:00.005+08:00

La la la la la

Google is the best friend ever (@ the workplace).

Besides the boredom, learning about Excel through best friend, and Theresa has been fun. But skirting the slaving for money and its making the world go round issue, God I need my sleep. I'm in a perpetual state of sleepiness, hovering on the edge of consciousness with several bouts of normalcy in between.

Waking up for 10 days at 0730 straight, although the time I get up usually differs by a good ten to thirty minutes, and getting not more than six hours of sleep at night is killing me slowly but surely. How do people deal?????????????

Can't believe it's only midweek. On the bright side, at least it's not Sunday (shit it's Monday again), or Monday (sighs, an entire week to get through). Tick tock

The truth is...

2011-07-10T11:01:00.003+08:00

I think I like it better when you're not trying.

Trying to act like an emo nemo but failing miserably. Words don't come as easy as they used to, for me. Sucks.

Anyways, after hearing melissa (the one at work) said what she said, I kinda had this moment where I thought shit I'm beyond the grey area. I thought I knew what's and where's black and white. And then all of sudden, the colors seemed to have blurred. In any case, I felt she was overthinking things. Like hello? Didja think every line in life is clearly drawn? Or maybe I just didn't want to think of myself as fallen to the dark side. (Another) anyway, I doubt I'll make much of these rumblings when I reread my posts in the near future.

Toodles. Shower, Undercover Boss, Sleep.

My life is a well oiled machine. Pfftt

I need something to rock my life. Period.

Never fails to crack me up.

workaholic wannabe

2011-07-08T19:00:00.006+08:00

Working on a sunday. What else would I be?

It's been a month! I have new insights about my inner strength and preseverance. Hahahahha au contraire, I can't decide if I like earning my keep more or facebooking my time away...

Anyway how on earth do people juggle both social life and work? I come home shagged everyday. Even shag-ger than when I go to school. Or at least that's what I remember.

Note to self: Get a pair of sneakers to replace the Lee Cooper's asap! It's so annoying when you avoid stepping on wet puddles, only to feel water seeping in and you can actually feel the process your socks getting soaked. Eek. Town. Shopping. Soon!

I am no angel
I like it when you do that stuff to me
I am no angel
I like it when you talk, talk dirty when you talk, talk

Good night, world

2011-07-07T17:30:00.002+08:00

I feel like I can actually fall asleep standing up.

Dog tired in the history of doggy tiredness. Two consecutive nights is my max. How did I survive secondary school with 6h of sleep...........

Tuition, snack, shower and off to bed.

turn off the heat

2011-07-05T19:37:00.003+08:00

I've decided not to talk about work anymore. Because there's this annoying thing hanging around my head: that goes if I complain abt work today, I get swamped tomorrow. ):

Fml.

Bye! Why does the picture remind me of my room?

Meeting with the girls tmw, please please don't let me get swamped!

quiet lazy sundays

2011-07-03T17:45:00.005+08:00

♥

Curling up on a comfy chair, reading a romance storybook, transporting myself into a fantasy land where dreams do come true, and the hero finds his heroine and they lived happily ever after.

I can easily see myself settling into a routine.

The only thing that's gonna make it more perfect is if I had a hero of my own. Sighs. And if I'm being greedy, I want a fireplace, a golden retriever and steamy hot chocolate topped by with marshmallow chunks too.

Good morrow, World

2011-07-02T09:21:00.004+08:00

There's somethine therapeutic about the smell of clean freshly mowed grass. And the smell of rain.

Blogging on the move.

Fresh perspective on morning appreciation. That doesn't make any sense at all, except to myself.

She used to be a pearl

2011-07-01T12:32:00.004+08:00

):

I guess I ought to be feeling relieved that Lady Luck has been smiling upon me until this day. But let me lament for a day or two before feeling thankful. Right now all I have is angst, wwwwwhhhhhhyyyyy.

She is a pyramid
But with him she's just a grain of sand
This love's too strong like mice and men
Sqeezing out the life that should be let it
She was a hurricane
But now she's just a gust of wind
She used to set the sail of a thousand ships
Was a force to be reckon with

There's something so infinitely sad about sunsets. It marks the end of a day, a possibly perfect day, or a possibly atrocious day. But nevertheless, the end of the day. Tomorrow might be a better day, or tomorrow may never match up or even come close to today. Still... You know. Time is such a tentative thing. Memories being all the more precious.

be careful of what you wish for

2011-06-30T16:23:00.004+08:00

Just when I mentioned, mind you, not complaining, but mere mentioning, that I was free at work, had nothing to do, and the next moment, I get swamped by work. Work that I've got no clue what I'm doing. Just going with the flow of the current. Somewhat like being stranded in the ocean, letting the waves carry.

Sighs.

Sleeping early tonight all in preparation for stars war tmr!

We may only have tonight

2011-06-29T21:16:00.005+08:00

It's been one month since the Melbourne trip. I thought it is pretty cute to pen down things I miss about her. And also because of the obvious that I'm sentimental towards dates. Imma girl like that.

The awesome weather. The self navigation, more like Yenleng's navigation and the rest of us following and snapping photos frantically in her wake. The daily long walks. The beautiful sunsets. The dear company in tight quarters. The Gothic architecture and the pretty scenery. The almost nightly shopping ritual at Coles, and playing ahem operating their automated check out machines. Long bus rides and dozing off whenever you feel like it. The 2h gmt difference which accounted for waking up at monstrous times, and sleeping at otherwise unforgivable early times at night to accommodate the early risings. Shopping for bargains - the eyes popping at $1/3/5 sale signs, the inevitable and undeniable attraction between your legs and the signs. Queen Victoria Market. City tram rides and tourist shuttles. Doing aussie math.

But till the morning sun
You're mine
All mine
Play the music low
And sway to the rhythm of love

fryday

2011-06-27T20:58:00.002+08:00

Yay boss approved of my taking leave on fridayyy to do my course reg. If the week goes by like today's, awesome!

my ♥'s a stereo

2011-06-26T20:53:00.004+08:00

Sundays are too short.

it beats for you
so listen close
hear my thoughts in every note
oh oh
make me your radio
and turn me up when you feel low
this melody was meant for you
so sing along to my stereo

So annoying. I wanted my title to be my <3's a stereo and dumb blogger says your html cannot be accepted: tag is broken: 3. What's up with that?

CSD

2011-06-25T11:14:00.001+08:00

Chronically sleep deprived.

Need I say more?

Third saturday at BBS. 3 more to go. And 4 more weeks.

Need a bag for school on top of the previous list. Should I buy that topshop one? Mmmm

tgis

2011-06-25T00:20:00.001+08:00

I need retail and movie therapy.

Shoes, clothes, green lantern.

There can never be too much clothes. Nor money.

love you like a love song, baby

2011-06-23T00:15:00.003+08:00

I don't know if I just served my own death sentence by telling abcdefghijklmnop that I'll be working till exactly one month later from this day.

Everybody's fretting over STARS, and I've yet to plan my timetable. Just chill people.

Work is not that bad. I mean I found time to watch abcdef abcd! Currently, caught up to date with Chuck. Almost there with vamp diaries. One more epi. What's with epi 21 really?! Everyone wants to sacrifice themselves. Please. There is no greater good. So disappointed in Elijah. Tsk tsk tsk. Damon, Damon, what to do with you.

I'm a slaveeeee 4 u

2011-06-17T17:20:00.003+08:00

Today marks an official one entire week at BBS. Wow. This does not feel like a week at all. To be honest, it feeeeeeels waaaaayyyy longer than that. Gave up trying to impress after Day 3 and revealed my through slacker self by coming to work dressed in jeans and sneakers. Way to go. Who says money don't buy loyalty? For the right price, nothing is impossible.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, money is the main motivation right now. Soooooo...

Back to earning me keep. While listening to 91.3fm of course.

Bye leisure time, bye sleep, and hello money honey!

SO HAPPY I CAN DIEEE

2011-06-09T17:44:00.005+08:00

YAY I HIT 4.04 THIS SEM FOR THE FIRST TIMEEEE! LAST MINUTE SHIT WORKS LIKE HELL. SAY GOODBYE TO EARLY MUGGING NEXT SEM. HAHAHA KIDDING. OMG IMAGINE WHAT I CAN ACHIEVE IF I CHIONG FROM DAY 1?! 5.0 HERE I COME BABY!

WHAT A DANG GOOD FEELING. ANYWAY GOT A (temp) JOB OFFER THAT PAYS $7/HR AND DOUBLE ON WEEKENDS. BRING IN THE MONEY, BABY! GONNA TRY MY HAND AT RELIEF TEACHING NEXT MONTH. KIDS, GET READY FOR MOI.

I just realized despite my tendency to laze off the holidays, I've done quite some odd jobs to date. Sales assistantx3, one day event facilitator, supermarket wrapper, stocktaker. Okay four that I can remember. Not so many and not quite illustrious afterall. Now I can add admin work, relief teaching and tuition teacher to it. Please please let me get a school and a kid....

OMGOMGOMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE A 4.04!!!! IF THIS IS A DREAM, PLEASE DON'T EVER LET ME WAKE UP.

Melb here I come!

2011-05-27T14:49:00.004+08:00

It's amazing what you can accomplished if you set your mind to it, and make a little effort to realize your expectations, to make it work. I hate waking up, ever since the exams period. So I woke up an hour early in case I needed to snooze. Better be prepared then leave it to chance, that's my motto. So anyway, woke up with time to spare and everything, hope I get that data entry job at dwg so I can halt my resume spamming. But for now, the continuation of RS.

After that dwg interview which ended with an ominous "we'll contact you", I went dhoby to get a haircut, take photo for resume, buy jeans in no particular order. Those were the leftover tasks I set out to do ever since exams ended. Blew 70bucks at Cotton On, really, I don't know why I always get suckered by their sales sign when everytime I buy, there's no discount on my items. Got jeans at Fox for 60 which was I think okay when compared with Levi's. Andandand got my haircut at Chapter Two. Say hello to bangs, baby. My hairstylist kept trying to engage me in conversation. Is that the norm or what? Cos up till now, I always faithfully like a dog go back to my old one which I always bitch abt their product afterwards. It took me wow 21 years to say, well I had enough. I'll prolly go to chap 2 from now, not like they're damn good but the expectation don't fall far from the result. The girl at the counter had a really cool tattoo with stars design on her hand and I asked her whether it hurt. She said ya but it's bearable. Inside I was like, duh, and I felt like asking her what's her pain threshold. :/

Total damage: a whopping $170. Ah the perils of having a credit card. It's like those things where you have a love/hate relationship with. I'm going bankrupt. Need a job need a job need a job. (If I keep chanting, would I get one?)

Well, I guess this is it for now. Need to get back to packing luggage. Toodles! Hope I get a job and a tuition assignment when I next blog. XX

Pack Rat

2011-05-20T21:02:00.004+08:00

Today begins.

What better way than that to start with packing away the old? I don't really know why it took me two years into university to realize that hey why the hell am I still keeping my h1 physics amongst stuffs like chemistry lab reports. I have several guesses, one of which would be, the two years in NYJC was unbelievably the best two years of education, ever. The people, the environment, the teachers. Throwing away the tangible bits and pieces seemed to distant myself away from the memories.

And I never did know the extent of my packiness till today. In the process of of dumping all those useless stufs, I'm damn amazed by how hard I did mug in JC even though it didn't feel like it. It was one of those hindsight being 20/20 things in life. And wow the amount of rough paper I got out of that stack was unbelievable. Like enough to last me the next semester. I feel prepared already.

Today's short day. Slept at 0404, and woke up barely seven hours later, and not feeling the least bit tired. Not having to wake up to alarms is sucha luxurious feeling. And caught Fast Five with my mom today. And was blown away. Heart pumping action from start till the end. Best fast and furious movie ever!

Empty

2011-05-20T02:16:00.005+08:00

This is a weird feeling.

Clock reads 0217 and not only am I not feeling tired, I'm feeling a sort of restlessness in my soul. I just had my last paper today and the previous paper was on monday. So technically I had almost three days to study for it. I wonder if it's me or that's how everybody thinks, pass/fail only what, don't need to study much since really, it's just a matter of passing.

Throughout these almost three days, I was more off than i was on. Maybe it was the combination of having three days (equating to lots of time), pass/fail grade, and the feeling of an already screwed up semester that i just couldn't be bothered already. I woke up strangely with a 315 question stuck in my head, yesterday and I googled the formula. Anyway the 315 paper was -.- unexpectedly different from previous years which don't make sense since it was the same lecturer and all but all that matters is that if I can't do it, I hoped other people couldn't either. This sucks. I'm not sure when I had this kinda mentality developed but it's pretty much stuck in my psyche. What a horrible horrible mentality. So uninspiring it's scaring me.

Back to that out of nowhere question that popped in my head, strangely, after I googled, I was kinda relieved that no I didn't remember the formula wrongly, then almost simultaneously, the relief melted and I was like it doesn't really matter not that I knew how to apply. How did this dejected feeling come by? Like damn. When did I change? Was i ever like that? Again this sucks. Finding a part of me that I didn't really like.

So after all the ranting, I feel strangely empty for some reason. It's like there are no more distractions to indulge in now that exams are over. There's no elation over anything. Sure there are movies, music, melbourne, and some other day to day things to busy myself with. But are they meaningful? Is this holiday going to be just like any previous holiday that just zoomed by without me doing anything constructive or contributing to somebody in some meaningful way? I'm 21 this year, apart from not liking to do voluntary charity, I do have a heart that bleeds red. I don't want my legacy to be as uneventful as a blank piece of paper. I mean I even went by the library to get my usual zing, and for once, in a long long time, the library felt kinda foreign to me, of all people.

After reading the blogs of my friends who still blogs, I just feel small. Insignificant. Like one of them just went Australia to study for a good two to three years. Her thoughts are well penned down, and it's like I understand where she's coming from and I really really admire her for the courage to just up and go. Sure it's just temporary, but to uproot all you know to a new country? That takes courage and strength. The kinds of qualities I'm still figuring if I have it in me to take the similar but shorter 6 months plunge. Another has a dad hospitalized and has doctors telling them that his time is almost up. This again, I can somewhat empathize with. Not so long ago, actually kinda just before exams, my mom was recommended to seek a brain specialist because her pituitary gland was deformed. This shocking news had me crying for three nights consecutively in my room. I was taking psychology this sem, and the knowledge of learning about brain and its functions, and the possibility of a screwed up operation was suddenly turning into reality for me. I just couldn't handle that. It's just, my mom and the possibility of her not living past my getting married, or even getting a boyfriend? I mean I always knew the world was unfair, but did God really had to take my mom from me? For a while i was damn pissed and motivated. To give my mom what she would have had if the diagnosis was right. At the same time, i put on a strong front when I was crumbling inside. Because who else is going to be strong for me? And because I didn't know how not to be strong, and let people in. At the same time, I didn't understood why my sister and brother were just so unfeeling compared to me. Maybe my sister was already independent and that her ties weren't that strong. But that didn't make sense for my brother, who relies on my mom for everything. It didn't make sense. Nothing did for a short while until thankfully, I accompanied mom to that fateful trip to the specialist where I heard what the doc had to say. Meanwhile she is scheduled to do more tests in order to get a complete picture but the brain specialist did assure that the shape of the pituitary gland was not an issue if it doesn't affect her functions. I'm mostly hopeful when the results come in next month.

The thing is; I am 21. But what have I done so far in my life? What have I achieved? Nothing memorable, nothing significant. Mediocre all the way. Napoleon conquered Italy by the age of 26. For a realist, I sure as hell can't compare to Napoleon, but there must be something on the same significance that I can do and will do.

What I'm saying now is that I'm not letting this slide any longer. time to wake up from the dreamy state I've been drifting through life, and start taking back the reins over what's mine and should have been mine.

Today begins.

Says it all

2011-05-11T11:34:00.002+08:00

3 down, 2 more to go.

oh fcuk

2011-05-07T19:00:00.005+08:00

Psychology was a stunner. Before today I was still rather relieved. After today fml. Omggg made like 25m worth of careless mistakesssss for cal paper. My life is ruinedddd. It's not like I didn't study for it, I did but what the hell is with the careless mistakes idk. Don't give a damn now actually, except it better not rear its head ever again. First biz fin midterm, now this. It's like a fog going into my mind taking up temporary residence. This sem sucks balllllssssss. Please please let me grossly underestimate myself. Seriousllllyyyyy. This sem is damn fuckup. Next sem is gonna be strictly chionging from day 1. Omgggggg

070511 the bitter taste of disappointment, failure and defeat.

SALVAGE is the word for today and the days following till 19 May. No more regrets.

Gimme a B, dear God.

Argh. I hate hate hate losinggg. Tsk okay enough crying over split milk, agonizing over what's done. Sigh take a deep breath, dinner, MUG.

Cause of death: Overcalculus-ed

2011-04-28T19:28:00.005+08:00

OMG sooooo dead.

Now, strangely, the situation has reversed since midterms. I'm a-okay with 315 and now having probs with 212. FML.

I hate this sem. ):

Thank the Lord, Mom's mostly okay.

This Semester

2011-04-17T19:01:00.005+08:00

Has been really crazy. First I took on two project-based mod, both non-examinable but equally if not more time-consuming than a typical module. One pass/fail (entrepreneurship if anyone is interested) and HW102a (compulsory mod). I'm pretty thankful that I have had team members who faithfully did their parts, and in the first; a really great team leader who not only did his part but also helped everyone in their respective part. I learnt quite a bit from these two modules, and prolly do not regret taking them two simultaneously.

The rest of the modules were pretty normal. Psychology didn't fail my expectations although the fact that the freaking mean and median for midterm were so high was a bit taunting but nevertheless, I have decided to give it all I've got. As for biz fin, damn disappointing. I just hope I didn't make the wrong decision. I'm going to be damn pissed however, if the same shit happens like in HP802. 2 more S/Us to go. It's like a drug; once you start, it's not easy to get off the bandwagon. Would not recommend using unless 100% sure.

I had a list of mostly cons to rationalize my decision; first being midterm totally screwed me up. If not for the !@#$% score, I wouldn't even be entertaining s/u; I mean no one would if they were on equal footing. Second being, not enough time to study, really. Now that we have two weeks left, a miracle is not going to be forthcoming no matter how desperately needed. It's not like I didn't study for it anyway. It's too damn fucking demoralizing to see your efforts go to waste.

The RMI minor, well... I might have been too optimistic about it. If I take it away from the equation, I'm still hopeful about being able to carry out my plan in graduating in 3.5years and going for exchange in the 4th year.

I have had enough disappointments this semester to last me an entire year. That said, time to put all these shit down and look forward. Time to divert all resources onto what matters.

After all that has been said and done; would it be terribly selfish if I hope the biz fin finals wouldn't be easy?

My Life Is A Rumble Pile Of Mess

2011-04-17T13:36:00.003+08:00

What if my best is not enough.

This sem officially sucks.

Fuck it. S/U I shall.

Hello Moto (Hi Beckham!)

2011-04-11T18:43:00.004+08:00

In hindsight, I did probably make too hasty a decision in buying the Moto Milestone 2. Okay wait, no probably about it. Not only is it difficult to navigate, most things got screwed. One, I had to create a gmail. Second, I almost couldn't access blogger cos Google combined my original hotmail acc that I used to blog with the new gmail I created. Third, battery life is damn short. Fourth, camera sucks. What 5MP. Liar liar pants on fire please.

What was I thinking? Changing to Moto when I've always been a steady SE (cybershot) loyal fan. I should have known. It was $1 afterall. Good things don't come cheap. A lesson learnt.

I am damn annoyed now. Not only am I behind schoolwork, I have biz fin test to mug for this friday. Which I cut class for and wanted to start once I got home, but Moto decided otherwise. WTF man. Sian ttm. There's this (slight) possibility that I might get scammed by the aussie ETA thing. Andandand, had a double dose of hits when i got back my midterm results for 212 and 315. My life sucks.

Seriosuly. What's up with this sem? First, scored below average for psych 101, then wayyy below average for 212 and 315. Please please don't screw my finals. God. Can't wait for all these crap to be over and done with.

My life is a rumble of mess.

Know thyself

2011-04-09T20:55:00.002+08:00

Had a revelation about myself this morning. It was quite shocking to say the least. That is, I'm into self-torture. Sighs. How else could explain the crazy notion of waking up early on a perfect sleepable Saturday morning? And that is after not getting sufficient sleep for at least 7h a day for the past two days, I'm about to go out of my head!! SOS (sleep-oh-sleep!) how I need you so.

starstruckk

2011-03-30T00:42:00.003+08:00

I think I saw Jamie Lee Curtis (You Again) on the green line today while on the way to school. Or at least her look-alike.

Age - check
Color of hair - check
Hairstyle - check
Profile - check
Features - roughly check

How many people would have similar hairdo with the same pepper salt white color hair?

Calculus, you're killing me softly but surely.

Samantha Who?

2011-03-27T15:45:00.002+08:00

Who is the mysterious Samantha?

The one that started this facebook event that says 1000 peeps in Holland V in singlets, shorts and slippers on 9 of April.

Already 1576 people are reported "attending" the event. Discounting those fb fanatics who "attends" every event they're invited to, which not necessary be the case in reality, I suppose there could still be a thousand odd. What is behind this "event"?

Supposedly:

"This is not commercially motivated and was started in the spirit of "being be able to go where ever you want to, wearing what ever you feel comfortable with." What you've responded with has been heartening because it shows that as a society, we really do look beyond these artificial barriers.

Samantha may be a real person, she may be a troll, but that doesn't change the spirit of why we're really doing this.

On the day, seize the moment and get out there in our singlets and shorts (or whatever you're comfy in) whenever you want to. If you are headed down to Holland Village on Saturday 9th April, buy someone in a singlet a coffee/laksa/kaya toast. Take lots of pictures and go home having made new friends who enjoy wearing singlets and shorts as much as you do.

This really is a casual, free-form thing where you come as you are and enjoy the company!

Peace!"

Some say it's a marketing campaign, some say Samantha or someone related owns a coffee shop or something in Holland V, why not pick somewhere more generic like Orchard? Obviously, a battle between skepticism and cynicsm.

I'm pretty much standing in the middle of both, to be perfectly honest. On one hand, do we really need an event to dress in whichever way we want to express ourselves? Do we need an excuse to do a good deed, buy a stranger a drink? Obviously not. Even though there are complains going about in tertiary institutions about students not dressing appropriately, said students continue to "express" themselves in the same manner. On the other hand, what's the harm, really? A day where everyone who's attending, engaging in some careless, mindless fun?

Peace out!

Guilty

2011-03-19T19:38:00.006+08:00

I have sinned.

Seriously though. I think I'm pretty much a slut for money. Like I'd do almost anything and everything for the right price. Seriously if the devil makes me a deal for my soul, I'll prolly enter the contract with my eyes wide open. I am however not tempting fate.

6.5/hr was the deal breaker yesterday.

I woke up with a swollen left eye like some annoying bug bit it. I wasn't sure whether it was serious or not. Parents were still in bed, seriously who wakes up at 6AM during the hols? i weighed my opportunity costs.

Under the 'go' column, I had the money thing going. An asterisk point.
Under the 'not go' column, rest and study.

My argument was that if I stayed home, I prolly will continue sleeping and slack since Calculus hasn't been kind to me. I had lots to catch up on still but eew. The temptation was sooo bad to get out of the house and earn some $$$ that I relented and took C's advice to go there and judge my options. So halfway through the 0800-2230 gig my eye miraculously recovered. Which was thank God.

Anyway the private sales was damn hot yest. Hot as in people kept coming and buying. Some took half day to shop, some brought the entire family, everyone came prepared. The average bill was 200$ per customer, expat and local. Which was wow. Singaporeans are obviously pretty well to do. And Isetan was the 3rd megastore to have sales this week. I was tempted myself to get some things but I left my credit card at home which was fortunate, if not the $$ earned would prolly be used to clear my shopping debt.

And I just wasted almost the entire day doing everything but studying which makes my SUSFU (situation unchanged still fked up). Oh wellls.

happy ending withdrawal

2011-03-17T19:14:00.002+08:00

Hi i'm an addict for happy endings.

I'm like 30% sure it's an actual disease with syndromes and all. The whole package. So much so that I feel restless without having a book in my hand. The only solution is to succumb.

Which I did. I couldn't take it after mm about 2-3 weeks since my last book. I like to think it was the latter so it meant at least I gave it a good fight. Seriously the plan was to read my lecture notes to and fro on the journey to school which shockingly takes up 1/8 of an entire day. I sleep for 7hours per day, and there goes 10 hours already. Plus I spend a typically substantial of time in school which makes about 6.5 hours on average. Leaving what 7.5h and after minus-ing the nua-ing time, teevee time, fb time, it's no wonder I pretty much have no time to do my tutorials.

At the start of the new sem, after a few days of boredom, I decided why not like what harm would it do since I didn't have tests, exams or anything urgent. Then it went on and on like a cycle I couldn't break out of, not that I wanted to. Then it escalated into an addiction. But I asked myself, how bad would it be? Comparing drugs and reading books, obviously the latter wins hands down.

And it's so amazingly pitiful that I'm making excuses for myself.

Oh God.

I need help.

Do they even have AA for this?

my fairy tale

2011-03-10T20:46:00.006+08:00

Ended before it had a chance to begin. The first ever happy ending that went "and I never saw him again."

So much for my happy ending. Avril Lavigne certainly knows what she's singing.

Not Meant To Be

2011-03-04T21:40:00.006+08:00

Shouldn't have told so many people about my um little crush. Totally got jinxed. And K with his black swan theory. Now sian. Oh wells. Might as well tell it as it is.

Yesterday...

Saw this rather cute Caucasian (with goatee, and woohoo biceps and chest) on the bus from Potong Pasir again. For the third time in a row, we were on the same bus.

However, before anyone thinks I'm sick or smth, I wasn't stalking him, nor him me. Cos I alighted first.

To further clarify, I went home at different times each day, boarded different bus every time, but we ended up in the same bus every single time! For three days straight at any rate. That was so awesomely coool. Cosmic kismet or smth. I was all set to approach him, and even to the extent of pondering about the possibility of stalking him to see where he alighted, if I saw him today but I didn't. ):

The thing was I saw him looking at me with the corner of my eyes. Like duh he was cute so i obviously was looking. I kinda saw the moment where recognition hit him, unless i was thinking too much but then again let's not go down that road, like he I-don't-know want to say smth maybe? But I was plugged in to my mp3. According to K's sage advice, I should establish eye contact first before the guy would make a move. Note to self.

I had such high hopes of meeting him, that I maybe possibly took some time last night to think over what to wear for school today, but ): I even heeded K's advice to avail myself, unplugging myself from my mp3 at Boon Keng stn. I was busy gawking around when I alighted at PP but then I thought never mind there's still a chance of bumping into him on the bus.

But no! Hence the totally sian-ness.

Off for a late-night movie! Busy busy weekend ahead. Toodles

They caught Number One in Malaysia.
Number Two in England.
And Number Three in Kenya.

Levi's 501

2011-03-04T21:39:00.001+08:00

Happy 501th entry, bloggie! Thanks for being a faithful ranteer.

What Are Words

2011-03-01T18:30:00.002+08:00

2011 American Idol castoff Chris Medina - the guy who touched everyone's hearts and possibly made us shed a little tear with his heartbreaking love story about his girlfriend who currently suffers from brain injury due to a car accident - is the first example of the new partnership between American Idol and Universal Music Group. Chris Medina has been given the opportunity to release his debut single online. "What Are Words" which hit iTunes on February 24th is a beautiful ballad, inspired in his AI story, written by Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins.

sucker for sentiments

2011-02-27T11:21:00.002+08:00

Dear blankie,

You've been my steady companion for more than ten years. You've been there when there were tears, exhilaration, joy and regrets. Happy times, sad times, you were always there with your soothing presence. Through dreams and nightmares, you're always there, my rock that keeps me rooted to reality. You've done a terrific job keeping me warm during cold nights, being a perfect snuggle buddy when I needed something to snuggle with and for just being there night after night.

It's never easy saying goodbye. I just want you to know that if it were up to me, I'd never throw you away or replace you with some other blankie. Worn out or stitches undone, I wish there was a way to keep some part of you with me. No one will ever take your place. You're that irreplaceable. I guess at this point, I just wanna say a thank you.

From the kid you've been sheltering since 6.

Snow white

2011-02-25T23:16:00.001+08:00

A dwarf in an ocean of giants on the friday morning sardine-packed peak nel train. At certain points, I felt kinda light headed due to lack of fresh air. Like seriously.

Human walls surrounding me, closing in, pressing closer... Drama much?

"My world is wider than the www." Big words to match your actions by. All I need is an ON switch.

Power

2011-02-19T12:01:00.002+08:00

Heady sensation. Brilliant motivator. Greed never far behind.

I sound like some LOTR philosopher. Lol. Anyway, I uninstalled Norman just for you, FS. Hope you're worth it. But good to have you back nevertheless.

I don't know whether to be insulted or not when the Toto auntie didn't check my ID or even ask abt my age. It's like oie, I look that old meh? Being an adult or even looking like one gives one an inexplicable sense of power. Like a kid discovering a new toy.

Anyway Toto is such a lameo game. It' like the odds are not only stacked against you, they are stacked in such a way that you don't really profit despite the term sudden windfall. Imagine years and years of betting, just for the infinitely small chance of winning, and when you do, what are the chances that you will cover all your capital and actually profit at the end of the day? It's crazy the way they play with the odds. Be smart, people. You will never win against the house. It's like the unwritten law of gambling.

Swamped swamped swamped and swamped. Project x2, tutorials x8 since I haven't been doing (lol in a not really funny way), revision x99999999999, readings x120+pages, drama series x9999999. Really.

castle walls

2011-02-09T23:18:00.003+08:00

Everyone thinks I have it all
But it's so empty living behind these castle walls (these castle walls)
If I should tumble, if I should fall
Would anyone hear me screaming behind these castle walls
There's no one here at all, behind these castle walls.

I need sleep more than I need anything. So yup I've decided. I'm giving in to the inevitable. No point torturing myself. 3 days of waking up early is a gawddamn chore. No one above the age of 20 should be subjected to this brand of horrors.

Seriously. I tried yo. Call it coincidence or fate but I call it an intervening sign from the higher powers that it's not meant to be. I got rid of all my distractions (fb, hotmail, the necessary evils) by indulging of course. How else would they leave you alone? So I tried. Ain't my fault that the stupid electure hung up at slide 7. I tried refreshing of course. I didn't want to, but I had to try. I didn't want to feel the guilt you see.

My bed is beckoningggg... Tomorrow would seem like a better day when I have my eight.

Jessie J - Price Tag ft. B.o.B.

2011-02-06T17:25:00.000+08:00

Jessie J ftw!

And so the cny bubble pops

2011-02-04T22:13:00.001+08:00

Back to reality again.

The thing about fantasy is, it's temporary. It fizzles after a short period of time, which of course depends on how deluded you are. At this point, I suddenly have this scene in my mind: Jude Law's ending scene in Repo Man where he was physically a vegetable and lived on a drug induced fantasy in his mind. I take back my words. I don't want to be stuck in fantasy! Reality works better.

Enough with the musings. Tasks check: okay apart from the week 1 catching up that I gotta do (and should have done), I have two online lectures, several tutorials, various readings, tonnes of research to do.

Can you spell SIAN for the weekend?

the little things we take for granted

2011-02-02T18:22:00.006+08:00

Sound. Music. The joy of listening, hearing.

Saw a pair of hearing impaired guys on the the way to school. I'm not sure if one would wonder how exactly I spotted them. They obviously don't hang a tag around their necks that says, "Hi, I'm deaf."

The thing was, they were just like any other ordinary 30plus working adults. If not for the rapid signs they were making with their hands, I would have taken one uninterested look and went back to my story book. Couldn't help but notice one of them had a wedding band on his finger.

Then it hit me. I'm not sure which is worse: being born with a hearing handicap or having some traumatic experience that resulted in hearing loss. The latter could be argued as the worser scenario because we all know how losing something as natural as breathing feels. And coping with the aftermath; the sudden loss of sound in your life, the sudden bleakness without sounds, the emptiness literally translates to white space. It's almost like you're living in a whole new dimension where silence reigns. Either way, both cases make you cherish the things that you have without a doubt, all your lives taken for granted. At least it was that way for me. And that you come to a single conclusion that they are all strong.

Survivors.

Yesterday, the psychology stand-in tutor brought in a good point. As society evolves, financial situations that picked up and etc... came the rise of PETA-alike groups. Pro-human, pro-animals, anti-cruelty you get the picture. In a way, it's shows how involved we are about our environment, like how concerned we get for our fellow beings and yada yada yada a sign of our human evolution, where not only the strongest survive, but they lend a helping hand of all sorts to the weaker. Humanity at its peak.

However, as to everything, there are both sides of the coins to consider. On the flip side, with all the PETA-alike groups around, while it's good and all, it somewhat hastens our scientific advancements in the general medical field. Without the experimenting on animals which possess some similar human genes, how in the world are we supposed to come up with new technology, medicines and the what-nots that would work with no ill effects? Like I'm not saying how I agree that animals don't possess the ability to think and thus in a way are beneath us and don't deserve to live, it's just sacrifices have to be made for the greater good, is it not? Expandables collateral damages in the greater scheme of things. Which explains the relative lack of new advancements in this age in a roundabout way.

Bet you never thought about so much in a single day. Psychology: the study of why we do what we do, totally brings out the thinker in me.

so easy... to zone out.

2011-01-31T16:00:00.002+08:00

The first week just zoomed past like that. So un-frig-ging-believ-able.

Anyway today's topic revolves about the test of friendship. The many tribulations of friendships, the ups and downs, yada yada yada, one of them being birthdays.

Birthday: an important event that marks another year in one's age where one hopefully becomes older and wiser. An age-old tradition of celebrating time.

How many times have you had this thought: Crap what should I get for XYZ? What would he/she like? Huh. I don't know.... Can I just share (and save the trouble of racking my brains or have someone to blame when the intended gift doesn't have the desired effect)?

It's only until birthdays and it comes to buying a gift, you realize you don't really know your friend that well. Like, eh I thought I knew him/her better than that.

It's not like we still go along writing our likes/dislikes in diaries like in primary school, ending our short biographies with a quirky poem for your friend to remember you by. Like: roses are red violets are blue and fill in the next lines yourself.

Ah those good old days.

You had me at hello (:

2011-01-26T22:15:00.003+08:00

Okay not like I have a bf. ): But I heard that line on the radio and I was like awesomee!!

Anyway. I feel like a stalker on fb. But its not my fault they were/are exhibitionists. 'nuff said man. I shouldn't have sounded so defensive. You know like you follow or (ahem stalk) certain people on fb, and through their photos and all you kinda get to know them but not really know them. Wouldn't it be a joke if one day you all crossed paths and like you said hey, and they're like do I know you. And you go like I saw all your photos on fb! And they go OMG stalker!! And ran off. Or called the police. This is what facebook does man. The 6 degree of separation? We are now all one single click away.

Speaking on the same note, THANK GOD for facebook and awesome honest people in NTU!! Lost or rather left my Coach wallet in lt1A after defence science lecture. I didn't even know I lost it till Lingmei told me on fb. Seriously, until now I can't figure out how it slipped out. I didn't even take it out. All I did was like take and bag and throw it on the ground, several times. Lingmei's friend(s) picked it up. I had all my ID inside so it was easy to find out who the wallet belonged to. The incredible thing was (not only were they honest) they were super uber ultra resourceful!! They facebook-ed me. Lol. And found a mutual friend who did the rest of the job by contacting me and returning it to me afterwards.

I had my IC, several credit cards, ATM, nets card, cash, matric card and various valuable stuffs and I'm really really grateful they found it and returned it to me. (: I wouldn't have know what to do otherwise. Replacing all those cards would be a goddamn chore.

I think I'm not gonna apply for INSTEP this sem. Wrong time wrong place. Need to pull up my gpa, and yr3 sem1 is out because I don't wanna spend my 21st alone in a foreign country no matter how glamorous that may be, and yr3 sem2 is kinda rushed for me cos I have my IA during the semester break, which means I gotta rush back to sg and the applying to companies thing? I wouldn't even be able to concentrate on playing/travelling/chilling/relaxing/doing what I want/enjoying my time in wherever I happened to be. So year 4 sem 1 it is. Meanwhile I'd do my compulsory mods and the ones that really interest me.

Good plan bad plan? Time will tell.